Thursday, May 26, 2016

That Feeling of being OLD!

SO!

Today is yet another day in the life of ME! 



I had some help getting started on a project in my backyard that I have been putting off and putting off! It took an old friend of mine from High School to come for a visit and get me off my duff so that we could have a place to sit and chat while she was here… (for the 2 days she was here). 

We had no where on our back deck to retreat to and nothing means that there ends up being NO ACTIVITY whatsoever in the back of the house. We have over 5 acres of land with our tiny abode and it's just a shame when you have all that beauty not to be able to sit and enjoy it!

So, yes, High School! As fond as memories can be, I don't tend to remember high school fondly! It was 25 years ago that I graduated so that tells you about how OLD I am. 43, I don't care if you know it's just a number! I was born in `73 and graduated High School in June of 1991. Remember, I was a child of a Navy man, so we travelled much and settled no where. I don't rememeber school fondly to being with! I had issues with reading, memorizing was a lack I NEVER acquired, and MATH… OH HELLS TO THE NO! I don't like math! It's not simple adding and subtracting or division or multiplication either. It's fractions and angles and the hypothesis of what relationship of the shape or color or WHATEVER! I am a REALTOR, I don't do hypothesis of NOTHING! I never made it past Algebra and didn't care if I did or didn't. MATH - BLAHHHHCK!

My friend, she's just such an interesting human being. Such a free spirited person and carefree personality! I have wished on many occasions to be able to live like her. Then I drop back into reality and I know that her lifestyle would never suit me. I would love to relax and chill and have a glass of wine…(who am I kidding it would be more like Kool-Aide, I don't drink much and if I do have a glass of wine it's generally the cheap stuff "Cupcake - Moscato Di Asti". Yes, it's a fruity wine. Don't say nuttin… So is Kool-Aide! 

Anyway, when you have an old friend visit you sit and talk about the old days, the things you had in common way back when, then you start thinking about where you've been and where your life has taken you. The road less travelled or the road most commonly travelled? Well, for me it has been several roads, weathered and beaten, rough and rugged and none really ever that smooth and straight, always more curvy and winding than I cared for. So, all that reminiscing and all that laughing kinda made me start thinking about how OLD I really am. My daughters, my first borns, would be 21 and 19 this year 2016. Sariena would be talking about getting married and I would be talking her out of it. Telling her that there's just so much more to life than settling down with someone she really barely knows and how she should travel and see the world and meet a Doctor or Lawyer or a Corporate CEO of a Fortune 500 company! Hell yes I would tell her that! Then she'd probably retort back at me how I married when I was 19 and her at the age of 22. Then I would get mad and tell her to look at my life and tell me what part of my life would she actually want to relive as me? I would feel heartbroken then and remember that if it weren't for the paths in my life that I had taken I wouldn't have her or her sister! My little girls… oh how I have missed out on so much of the lives you should have had but never did or never will! Again… OLD… I have been through so much in my life that has made me who I am today, but the hard work, the struggles, the depression and the pain, have all made me OLDER than I am. That number "43" as I said is just a number when you feel like you've lived a life an 83 year old might have lived. OLD!

So, now that I am working on my backyard retreat, I have a place I can sit and relax and remember and drink and just absorb… my life… and then agree with myself that I am who I am and I have lived a VERY full life!!

Now, to finish my work in progress on that back deck… next purchase… accessories!

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